Mind Games

Perhaps after months of injury and running without the Garmin or any of sort of real goals or ambition, I’ve begun to concentrate on the wrong numbers. Perhaps, instead of worrying about weighing less, I should trust myself to run faster. Miles in the 8:30’s felt great today and I need to get back to speedwork, to pushing, to dreaming about being strong and not skinny.

This all coincides with the talking to I got at work this morning about being more ambitious, about being a leader, about pushing myself and other people. Not sure what to do with all this yet, but I’ll get there.

2011 has been an amazing year for me professionally. I’ve learned quite a lot and I’ve had days when I thought I would break down, physically and emotionally from the stress and exhaustion. Running has kept me sane, healthy and productive.

What I love most about running is that you keep learning with every new step. Here’s to a 2012 full of long work days, fast runs and ambition.

Hovercraft

My weight has hovered around 120 my entire adult life. I’ve been 127 and out of shape or 118 and in great shape, but I’ve never reached 135 or 115. My body (apple shape: barrel chest, muffin top and fairly thin legs) just sort of remains the same. And suddenly that’s very frustrating to me. I run, I weight train, I watch what I eat. My clothes are looser than they were pre-running and people who haven’t seen me in two or three years, say “My, you look great.” But the number on the scale is the exactly same as way back in December 2005 when I pretty much ate whatever I wanted and considered chatting in the sauna to be exercise.

My goal, which I’ve discussed with Nicolas fitness instructor extraordinaire, was to get down to 116.9 (53 kilos) by this week in order to go home for Christmas skinny and with some room for American eating. Last week I was down to 54 kilos, but yesterday I was back to 55 kilos (121 pounds). I know that this is in part because I refuse to give up pb and toast before running and Friday night wine drinking. Is that perhaps what I’ll have to do? That seems awfully sad considering that I do exercise.

This fall I’ve been cross-training much more and running a little less due to hip pain. I feel fitter, my arms are stronger and the tummy under control, but the numbers are driving me mad.

Does your weight fluctuate a lot or does your song remain the same? Any tips for breaking out of these plateaus?